CSLS: Don't let Dad's weekend be a long walk home
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
We can imagine that Mark Twain’s famous statement refers to his first “Dad’s Weekend” at Ohio University. Whether Mark and his father enjoyed a Bobcat basketball victory at the Convocation Center, or prowled the haunts of Court Street late at night, is unknown. However, some things seem certain: Drinks were consumed, cigars were smoked and a benevolent wisdom, connecting the generations, was enjoyed by all.
What a time to be alive and to see your “old man” burst the shackles of his mundane world and shine with Dionysus’s glory as he relives the days of his youth. And perhaps he’ll buy you some beer, even though you are under 21, (and, in the eyes of the law, incapable of swilling shots or downing pounders). Which brings us to the purpose of this column.
Our youthful alcohol offenders will don robes of respectability as they saunter through packed drinking establishments which they have only dreamed of entering until now. Suppressing any hint of prior experience, they will no doubt ask Dad what to order, and will refrain from chugging the first few drinks put before them. (Yes, looking innocent is sometimes easier than being innocent.)
A great time will no doubt be had by all. But then, Dad’s stamina may fade with the passing hours. As yawns grow more frequent, our students may bid farewell with awkward hugs to Dad, who slowly makes his way back to the dorm or hotel room to embrace impatient sleep…and then Junior will really start to party.
Eventually, though, the night must end for our Athenian wastrel, and he or she is forced to negotiate the long walk home. This walk, of course, is full of danger from lurking police or “undercover officers,” who await the shuffle of unsteady feet. For some, the night will have an unpleasant ending, as they are arrested for being “under the influence” of alcohol, while underage. “But wait!” they shout. “Dad bought me the alcohol. It’s legal!” The law is indeed a cruel mistress, my friends, for even though it was legal for dad to buy the booze for you, it is illegal for anyone under the age of 21 to be “under the influence” of alcohol in a public place, unless they are in the company of their parent (or over 21-year-old spouse).
So this Dad’s Weekend, be sure to have fun, exchange wisdom, and see how much your Dad has learned since you went to college, but don’t wander home without him.
This column was brought to you by Managing Attorney, Patrick McGee, Staff Attorney, Melissa Greenlee, and Program Coordinator, Tracy Kelly, at The Center for Student Legal Services.
The Center for Student Legal Services (CSLS) is a non-profit law office created to educate, represent and protect Ohio University students in matters related to identity theft, landlord / tenant issues, alcohol consumption, contract reviews, traffic violations, misdemeanors, credit law and more. For more information, call us at 740-594-8093 or visit our office at 50 S. Court St., Suite D (above College Bookstore).