AVW Newstimes: Bearded man goes to Ping

According to university reports, a bearded man was seen in Ping Recreation Center Wednesday morning .The bearded man stayed for about an hour, several sources have confirmed.The regular Ping patrons did not know what to make of the “man with hair on his face.” Several thought it might be linked to Ping’s recent decision to allow cut-off shirts.“I noticed that some guys have hair under their arms. Is this related to that?” responded one woman when asked about the bizarre bearded man.Other more astute observers linked the “man with the lovely locks on his face” to the several men with scruff who frequent Ping. “I’m used to the guys who haven’t shaved for a week,” said sophomore Jared Yotal, “but I didn’t know that facial hair could get that long.”Steven Preston, a Ping staff member, said that he had never seen a bearded man go into the weight room. “We’ve had one or two wonder into Ping since I’ve worked here, but they usually go to the climbing wall.”A few sources who were also in the weight room Wednesday morning noted that the bearded man had a vast working knowledge of exercises, muscle groups and machinery. He also brewed his own Gatorade, reportedly.Several patrons complained about hair follicles in the drinking fountains and spittoons. “He had his own Gatorade,” one man complained, “why did he even need water?”When asked about the complaints, Ping management said they were looking into new guidelines and restrictions that might limit patrons’ facial hair.Not everybody was upset over the bearded man’s morning workout. A few women wondered if this meant they could stop shaving their legs, and several men were already pledging to follow the bearded man’s precedent.And at least one woman hoped the bearded man would come back very soon. “I’m not usually into the guys at Ping, but I would watch that beard work out anytime,” she sighed.Similar reports placed a clean-shaven man walking into Donkey Coffee.