AVW Newstime Comedy: Marching 110 Tries to Tell University "You're Just as Special as We Are."

In the wake of its appearance in Google’s wicked awesome commercial documenting all of the most viral Internet moments from 2012, the Ohio University Marching 110 issued a public call for students to relieve them from the burden of being totally fucking awesome all of the time. Calling the video a “cool moment from last semester,” the group offered little praise for themselves when asked how they felt about the achievement.“Yeah, it was nice seeing the Gangnam Style video get up to a million views. Almost as nice as when the Party Rock Anthem video reached 9 million views. But I don’t need to elaborate, you all remember the first time you made a video that was viewed by millions,” said Marching 110 director, Dr. Richard Suk. “That was a great question, Kathy, how are your kids doing?”Further questions to Dr. Suk only resulted in more questions about the relatives of reporters, with Suk insisting that he did not want the press conference to be “all about [him].” Pressed to give credit for the astounding commercial success to someone, Suk praised football coach Frank Solich for providing the venue for the world-class band.  When asked for comment, Solich said, “Please stay for the second half next year. Please. Please don’t leave me in that cold, empty stadium all alone.”Beyond the Marching 110’s humble dismissal of sheer badassary and Suk’s opening statement of surprise that the press took any interest in his “ragtag family of lovable and dedicated students,” the press conference was intended to ask students to take up the mantle of representing the school as a place of fame and innovation.“It’s not like it takes a lot of work,” said sophomore trombonist Lindsey Griffin. “All you do is film yourself doing something that ties into pop culture while also breaking from traditional norms, then catch the attention of an international pop sensation, have him call you the best adaptation of his own work, and bask in the glow of fame and praise until Google decides you provided one of the most important online moments of 2012. I really don’t see how we are the only ones who did it last semester.”In response to critics who claim that getting a video to go viral requires a level of talent and success that is not accessible to normal humans, Griffin offered, “You’re all talented in different ways. Maybe that student can play guitar, or that student can play hacky sack, or that student is a talented instrumentalist with skills in dance, teamwork and musical theory that make him or her an extremely marketable asset to the American public. It’s all the same.”Senior drum major Albert Reynolds followed this statement by complimenting this reporter’s choice of clothing, haircut and expressing his assurances that “millions of people will probably read whatever it is you publish.” He also reminded this reporter that someday, “You’re going to be so successful and happy.”When asked about their future plans, Suk offered little speculation: “Oh, I figure we’ll just make the same little old videos for people to have fun with. I cannot wait to read your article, James. Make sure to get my good side,” he said, laughing in a manner that showed every tooth of a beautiful and angelic smile.This article was written by Taylor Reinhart. Follow Newstime on Twitter: @AVWNewstime