AVW Newstime Comedy: Nation Agrees, Holidays Too Soon for Misguided Uncles to Politicize Sandy Hook Tradegy

United States--Just over a week after the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Conn., that left a total of 27 people dead, including 20 children, America has come together in unison to agree that now is not the time for this tragedy to be politicized by our obnoxious, blustering uncles.Whether it is longwinded lectures at a family gathering or a seemingly never-ending stream of Facebook posts about “How it oughta be,” a multitude of sources across the country have made it clear that it’s too soon for the agonizing experience of hearing our uncles spout moronic bullshit about the devastation that happened at Sandy Hook Elementary.“Given the horrific situation in Connecticut, everyone tried really hard this year not to give Uncle Scott the impression that we wanted to hear his opinion,” reported Kelsey Dergin, in regards to her 56 year-old uncle, Scott Dergin, who effectively belittled the deaths of 20 innocent schoolchildren with numerous incompetent political statements.“Every time we tried to change the subject, he would just yell about the Second Amendment louder,” sighed Dergin, as she pinched the bridge of her nose on her visibly exhausted face.“It’s as if my uncle is so delusional that he thinks our family got together on Christmas Day for the sole purpose of being an audience to his rants on public policy,” described Kyle Bindle, further detailing his Uncle Alan’s bombarding narcissism and unbearable lack of social awareness.“This kind of disregard for polite behavior isn’t new for Uncle Paul, but to hear him spew his ignorant ramblings not even two weeks after the brutal murders of 27 human beings, was definitely a new low,” said Emily Holder in reference to her uncle’s insufferable ability to take a complex and sensitive issue and oversimplify it into a barrage of unreasonable generalizations and ill-informed assumptions.As of press time, reports indicate that the nation’s uncles, most of whom are estimated to be a little over 5 drinks in, are wondering, "why is everyone so uptight in here? Geez.”